A Sober Full Moon Party and Ladyboy Antics

I have always wanted to go to a full moon party. The idea of a massive party on the beach under a full moon sounded incredible! So when I decided to go to Thailand, one of the first things I looked for when choosing a trip was a full moon party and bingo, Xtreme gap offered one. 

However my fantasy of the full moon party always included quite a few cocktails, a very strong hair and make up game, and, randomly, a pair of high heeled flip flops with gems on them. However, due to a gross infected foot and a lot of antibiotics, both alcohol and flip flops were out. I’ll be honest, I was a bit gutted about not being able to drink, not because I’m some crazy drinking party animal but just because I was not gonna last until 8.30am sober. My god! But the alternative was sitting in my hostel staring at our temperamental fan all evening so I decided to rally. 
After a rather rocky journey on the ‘party’ boat (dodgy remixes, basically) and a deadly truck journey, we arrived at a bar to get UV painted up. The full moon party is basically a big UV rave, so regular skin was not allowed. May have gone slightly overboard…

    

Too much glitter and paint? Never.

  
For some unknown reason, there was a random litter of gorgeous puppies at the bar, so whilst everyone else got on it with the vodka, I spent hours cuddling puppies covered in UV paint. Rock and roll… 

At about midnight we headed to the party and at first, it was a bit like a UV Khao San road, with vendors selling everything imaginable, but UV. 20 baht for a toilet trip and some questionable haggling later, we headed down to the main arena, with 10 buckets of vodka-red bull for 1300 baht (about £25) and one bottle of water in tow. The party was a neon mess, with countless DJ’s, bars and platforms dotted along the beach, with thousands of UV covered party goers raving along in time to the music (highlight of which was JB’s Sorry, obviously). It was a pretty amazing feeling when the DJ announced ‘we’ve got people from all around the world here tonight celebrating the full moon, let’s go fucking crazy’. There was a strange unity amongst us all, Swedish girls with nipples on display; Chinese guys with UV flags on their arms; French party animals; British lads on tour; as we partied and gazed up at the beautiful full moon. What an amazing experience, although I wish I could’ve been more in the party mood with a cocktail or two…

Besides a lot of raving, the beach had a few other attractions, one of which was mellow mountain, a supposedly quiet area for revellers to rest. However, it was clear why the place was called ‘mellow’ when a large crowd formed around a ‘shake’ stall in the corner.. Not sure that these were the coconut shakes I’d been enjoying all week… There was also a few rather dangerous ‘playground’ attractions, including a flaming skipping rope and a brutal looking water slide. The thump at which people came off the slide made me wonder quite how anyone drunk survives the party… Entertaining to watch though! 

Being sober, by 4.30am I was knackered and ready for bed. And 6 hours later, I finally was reunited with bae. Fair to say much of the next day was spent sleeping and trying to remove UV paint! 

 Edit 
 

Before and after the party. No prizes for guessing which is which…

 
Another thing on my Thailand bucket list was a lady boy show. There’s something pretty fascinating about the idea of a ladyboy, and having decided not to pay the 1500 baht (£30) to see Calypso in Bangkok, I was thrilled to discover Koh Tao had its own show, where entry was only one drink. My first question upon watching the show was ‘Are they actually men?!’. They were kind of hot, it has to be said, and their very tight leotards left me wondering where on earth the sausages were being hidden, if you get my drift. 

 Edit 

#boobgoals

 
Things quickly descended to mentally scarring when a random guy was pulled up on stage, undressed and groped in front of this girlfriend, who thought it was hilarious. He was then made to grab the ladyboy’s boobs and rewarded with a big kiss on the lips. My god. I’m glad I saw the show, but I kind of feel like life will never be the same again, particularly after wishing I had the boobs of a guy. My life…

 Edit   

Well, here’s to new experiences, I guess. Some to be repeated (full moon, please), some to be erased from the memory very swiftly. Please, God.

 Edit  

Feeling very unglamourous…

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